Rawson Regrets Dissing Dykes

BABBLING BINT BAWLS

A tearful Anna Rawson apologised today for comments she made calling former famous women golfers "dykes"

The talentless tart teared up at a press conference she called to explain her comments. Rawson, a leggy blonde who will happily shed her kit at a moments notice, said that she was "trying to promote golf". Needless to say, this comment drew a gale of guffaws from the assembled soused scribblers.

"When I said '25 years ago when the tour was full of, you know, a lot of dykes and unattractive females' I was merely trying to favourably highlight the amazing progress we have made. Look how far we've come! Unlike in the old days, today the tour is full of calendar-publishing sluts, over-hyped Big Bird lookalikes and conveyor-belt Koreans with a one season shelf-life......as well as the dykes and unattractive females"." The hungover hacks jeered delightedly as the hapless harlot rambled on.

Rawson (left) is, of course, no stranger to controversy. At regular intervals (as she has deservedly slipped out of the public gaze to the level of anonymity her lack of ability deserves) she has "slipped up" and made an outrageous comment that gets her the exposure she so desperately seeks. A classic was last year when she declared to a startled reporter from Men's Health "I have penis envy". She hastily explained that what she meant of course was "I want a cock!"

As the press conference came to an end she topped all previous comments when she claimed that she was actually hoping to be taken seriously as a golfer. The gin-soaked journos erupted into cackling snorts as pictures of the scantily-clad slut were passed around.

The golfing world closed ranks to support artless Anna as great names from the past gathered to deny the "dykes" implication. Laura Davies put her considerable weight behind the rebuttal. "I've never kissed a girl" she grunted. "Nope. Nothing like that here" added her companion Mianne Bagger. Kelly Jones and Karrie Webb held hands as they called the accusations "baseless" and added "there's no torrid tribadism on tour". Muffin Spencer-Devlin vehemently denied the accusations. While happily admitting she likes minge, Muffin correctly pointed out she was too talentless to count.

Asked for a comment, Rosie Jones and Patty Sheehan were heard to remark "Oh shit. She must mean us......"