Lewis Hamilton in a thong?

Danica Patrick gets long-awaited victory at weekend race in Japan

Expectarant was delighted to see Danica Patrick finally winning her first race in IndyCar. In a shocking development, the shy, retiring convent girl took time off from being a slut to actually bring her car home first.

To the last, Danica continued her selfless one-woman destruction of IndyCar's credibility and managed to expose a breast as she took the chequered flag. Afterwards, she tearfully apologized to her legion of onanist fans, as winning a race now means that she no longer has to appear in GoDaddy ads referring to her beaver.


She blamed her pit team for having the best fuel strategy and actually giving her enough gas to finish.
She had intended to conduct a simulated sex scene on the bonnet of the car after it had sputtered to a halt on the last lap. In the event, she had to make do with some suggestive stroking of the trophy and an entirely predictable routine with the champagne bottle.


Her numerous soft-porn shoots bring back memories of the infamous Michael Schumacher Playgirl spreads. Late last night, Lewis Hamilton announced plans to don a posing pouch and simulate fellatio on Fernando Alonso.